how do i start from the beginning?
how do i start to believe that im beautiful like he used to say?
how do i start to make up early in the morning again?
how do i start making effort?
how do i get rid of memories?
how do i get rid of thought about how guilty i am?
how do i find person who will answer all of these questions?
how do i start to cry normally again?

If someone knows a doctor who can make me feel better let me know...